wally's answers - an advice column
Hello! My name is Wally Terrifying. That isn't some catchy gimmic, it's my birth name. But don't worry, there's nothing scary about me. At all. I'm just here to answer all of those questions that are too embarassing or illegal to ask in school. Feel free to post your own question on the left hand side!
People keep asking so here's the answer: My name has Dutch roots, originally Terwilliger.... from "Der willige-waar," as in serviceable ware, or ware that sells well. My great granddad said on Ellis island they couldn't understand him because his english was so fucked up, so they thought he said "Terwifier" so they changed it to Terrifying. It only takes one stroke of a pen to mess up a few hundred years of linage.
Someone asked "how often do you update your page?" the answer is, as much as I can. Sometimes that takes weeks though, but other times it takes minutes. Really depends on where in the world I am, and what my jetlag is like.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I am sixteen years old. Everyone tells me that im pretty, and i know im not ugly...Ive never had a boyfriend before, in fact, ive never even had my first kiss. i am not shy around guys, but i am afraid to show that i like them, due to fear of rejection. My mom and i are moving soon and i will be going to a new school...i would like to start dating, but i really dont know how. What would your advice be? And also, one more thing. When i was little, my mom always used to go AWWWWW whenever i tlked about a boy. Due to that, i am EXTREMELY embarassed to even mentioning the fact that i think a guy is cute in front of her...What should i do? its just so awkward.
You have two options. One, go to a dive bar, where you'll instantly have a thousand or so old men talking to you non-stop, and you won't have to worry about rejection. Two, next time your mom says "AWWWWWWW" say "My boyfriend wanted to have a three way with you and I so he could write to Penthouse Forum." I garuntee she'll never say "awww" again.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
How do you make yourself throwup ?
i would like to know the easiest ways . or less painfuliest wayss . okayy just tell me anyways you know . pleaseee :)
Hey there ms bulimic!
Let me suggest screwing a different guy every night with no protection. That is a lot better for your health than binging and purging,
and accomplishes the same ego boost as looking at your vomit-induced weak and disgusting body in the mirror
(ps, if this is because you ate some poison or took too many pills, call 911 immediately)
Dear Mr. Terrifying
i gave syphilis to my dog, is it deadly?
I had this situation a few years back. No it's not deadly, but make sure your dog takes some antacids that neutralize the ulcers while they heal. Another medicine, misoprostol (brand name: Cytotec), reduces the amount of acid and protects the lining. Do not use any anti-inflammatory medicines.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
A self proclaimed wiccan gave me a necklace, we do not get along so I was taken by surprise when she handed it to me, I am wondering how to tell if she did place a curse on it or a charm or spell, I am wiccan but my expertise lays more in the energy fields and spiritual world. it's beaded, metal beads, i feel uneasy with the energy but I wish to know what her motives were. thank you for any answers, Blessed Be!
You'll have to cast "Detect Magic" or "Read Magic" on it. Both are level one spells, so it should be fairly simple.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
me and my wife dont have sex alot, mabe in the month 2 times sometimes none. latle we have been having sex, but her pussy starts to fart. i was once told that when that happens, its because she has been havin sex with someone whos dick is bigger than mine, could this be true ............pls help me
Not another guy, don't worry. That just means air's getting caught up in there. Have you been nailing her harder than usual? Regardless, a farting cooch has nothing to do with screwing another guy
Let me clarify. She COULD be cheating on you, but that's not why her vag is fap fap fapping.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I Stay up late, I Don't Date and I Mate with questionable members of the opposite sex. should i buy a hybrid car?
Dad?
Dear Mr. Terrifying
i am 13, a girl and have had sex with my boyfriend. i didn't get pregnant but i am worried about STD's and the concequences if anybody found out. i really really enjoyed it and i want to know if that makes me sexually perverted...that and the fact i always want to have sex now...
Nice try, FBI
Dear Mr. Terrifying
im 13 and pregnant and i dont wanna tell my mom
Make your bed, leave a note on it that says: "Dear Mom. I moved to California with Bob. He says he'll work hard and pay for me and the baby. He does drugs, but its okay because it lets him work for fifteen hours at a time. He says not to worry about being sick because he scientists are working on a treatment for it. Don't worry about contacting us because we'll be in a commune with no phone............ Nah I'm just kidding, none of that is true. I am pregant though."
Or, do what my older sister did...the way she told our mother that she was pregnant at 13 was by saying "Guess what Mom! I have a great career at Playboy waiting for me!"
Dear Mr. Terrifying
What are the traits of a sex addict? I might be one?
A sex addict will spend every second of every day thinking about how to get sex. As in, not getting stimulation will result in a chemical deficiency in the brain that prevents them from acting sanely.
Enjoying sex with many partners or jerking off ten times a day doesn't count
If you see a chick that has warts on its eyes and weighs 500 pounds and smells like 10 year old rotted-in-the-sun milk, and you want to nail it, then you may be a sex addict. Unless of course you have a BBWWIEORITSM fetish. In that case, you probably don't have a sex addiction.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Your grammer sucks
Yeah? Well your face makes me want to kick puppies. So now we're even
Dear Mr. Terrifying
What is the circumfrence of a moose?!?
Moose vary in size. The circumference around the belly could be up to 4-5 meters for a large bull moose and perhaps 3-4 meters for a "small" moose. Another way of doing it is with the equation: 2 × π × (moose height ÷ 2).
Dear Mr. Terrifying
love postions
What the hell kind of question is that? Even the moose question above made more sense
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I had written to you before about me asking my husband to leave and waking up and finding him back on the couch in the morning and that I had met someone else. Well I took your advised figured I would have an affair and things might get better between us. Well nothing is better if anything I have figured out that I love him but not in love with him. I have only became more confused because now this other man means something to me more than I thought he would. How do I choose? I don't know if it will be a mistake or mean happiness. Our daughter asks me all the time when I will make him leave and if a 12 year old says that then I think I really need to wake up and smell the coffee. HELP MORE CONFUSED!
Lol you followed my advice?
Dear Mr. Terrifying
The other night I went home with a girl, we had anal sex, when I reached areoud I discovered she had a penis. Does that make me gay? I did finish what we were doing as I was lost in the moment.
The fact that you brought a chick home that turned out to be a dude doesn't make you gay. Putting it in his ass didn't make you gay. You liking musicals doesn't make you gay. No, what makes you gay is that you gave a reach around. No straight dude will ever, EVER give a reach around.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I DONT like this boy!!! At least not it "THAT" way?
theres this guy who always showed signs that he liked me by acting really nice and indirectly saying "isnt it funny how my family thinks ur my girlfriend"
and since im nice to him i think he got the wrong idea. and when i always indirectly remind him that im a 'friend' of his, i think he finally caught on. Problem is, now he is acting really mean and distant towards me and i still want to be friends. did he take it too seriously or did i do such a crime that he suddenly hates me now? or does he still have feelings for me?
In ten years you're going to ask me "What happened to all the nice guys?" And I'm going to copy/paste this question.
(Larry, a guest answerer says: ok why dont you take a dump on his chest)
Dear Mr. Terrifying
M flo dopamine lyrics in english? I have the booklet that has the lyrics in kanji n stuff but what are the romanji lyrics.. thanks for the help. :D
btw listen to some m-flo. dopamine is dope.
Hey thanks!
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I'm a married woman. When I cum I shoot not a puddle but a pool!! I'm a REAL squirter and I hear this is rare. My husband gives me the impression that is something that most men look for in a woman as if it's a rare jewl. But, I personally think most men would view it as overwhelming or disgusting. I mean, who wan't to be sqirted with a load of warm liquid from a virgine. I know there are men who liked to be peed on but that's not what I'm doing though it probably feels the same! My husband loves it and that's all that matters. But, if he is right and most men love this, I'd kinda like to know!
Okay I need to explain several things. First, your guy things he's getting you off and he's all proud of himself. Little does he know that women's lube secretes, much like your saliva glands in your mouth. Whens the last time you've seen a saliva gland squirt?
Basiclly what I'm trying to say is, you know the truth: it's urine coming out. Meanwhile this guy (like every other single guy in the world who brags about making girls squirt), thinks he's hot shit. So you have a delicate balance here...do you keep squirting and make him feel like king of the world...or do you tell him you're actually pissing in his face and he shouldn't swallow it next time?
Jennica says: Free lubrication, can't complain! Also, be lucky you're having sex while married.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I am married and met another man, I have told my husband to leave, and I wake up in the morning and he is back sitting on my couch. I am going to spend the night with the other man what should I tell my husband, why I will not be home
Stop stop stop, you're doing it all wrong. First off, your marriage is in a rut, right? Like no emotion, no passion? Well, the most sure fire way to fix that is by getting with someone else short term. I'm serious. Like, you know that feeling you get when you first meet someone? You're all unicorns and bubbles? That will extend into your home and brighten everyone's mood.
There's a phrase I just made up that goes "the most surefire way to tell if your husband is cheating on you is if he starts acting very happy, and starts treating you like a princess." This is because you guys have a solid marriage, but the sex is boring and unexciting. So why ruin a great foundation just because the sex is bad? Go out, cheat, come back, and overnight you'll be the best wife anyone can ask for. Seriously, I've seen SO many relationships that have been fixed because one person cheated on the other.
Only thing is, you can never ever ever tell the other person you cheated. That instantly negates everything I said above.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I am married to a wonderful man, but we have a problem.
I like being with women sometimes, and he likes to watch.
I know sounds like there is no problem. Well the problem
comes in the fact that it is damn near impossible to find a
semi slutty bisexual female.... I'm attractive, a personable person,
I just can't seem to find a chic to eat...
do you know the best places to find the type of person I am looking for?
In every major city, there are alternative/progressive newspapers or magazines. In these magazines, you'll see ads advertising swingers clubs or annonymous couples, which are generally safe. Check those out and find what fits you best. You can usually find these types of periodicals at music stores, dive bars, or one of the smaller newspaper stands amungst a dozen newspaper racks. Also, this just in, why are you so awesome? Times like this makes me wish I were a female.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I have been sleeping with a model recently (its absolutely fantastic). Recently, when we have seen eachother, we have been having sex for over 7 hours at a time. My dick gets so hard I am worried that it will pop/explode. I usually cum 4-5 times and by the end my dick just keeps getting harder. It feels as if it will explode. Is there any way that it would explode, and is there a chance that if it explodesd it would kill/injure her?
First off, I hate you. Second off, if you send me pictures of her legs, I'll totally make them the picture to the right instead of the current legs: officeofstrategicinfluence.com@gmail.com
Third, you're my hero. Lastley, yes you can very much kill or injur her. If you have enough pent up army men to cum 4 or 5 times, then
if it all happend at once, then most likely you'd shoot her so far into the air that her head would get stuck in the ceiling.
P.S. my roommate (chick named Jennica) wants your phone number.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
u guys rock, thats all i wanted to say! by stumbling upon your guy's website you have made my day and i plan to share you with the rest of my friends
It's very important that you only show this page to people you don't like
Dear Mr. Terrifying
i keep putting my dick in the hover
Do you mean hoover, like a vacuum? Cuz if so then great. If not, then I regretfully inform you that you're doing it all wrong.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
What do guys realy think of girls with a bush versus grils who shave it off???
While I'm at it, what do they think of girls who don't
shave there legs or under there arms? My German friend doesn't
shave at al and I think its kind of gross but what do guys think.
Say you're terrible in bed. As long as you're all shaved you'll still be a delicacy. Anything under the nose has got to go! Also, you have a 99% chance of getting gone down on if you're bald down there. Your german friend...well, perceptions of beauty are very society-driven, so lots of Europeans are used to it and it's completely acceptable. *puke*
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I am a Programmer for a software Developer, Responsible for Beta Testing.
I was recently informed that I am the most Efficient on my team... So, in a Sense,
I am A Master Beta. Do you think I should brag about this new Job Title?
You should wait until you get a promotion. Then you'll be Grand Master Beta.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Why am I so stupid ? Girls, don't wonder why there are no longer such things as nice guys. My ex-gf cheated on me 8 months on the 11 total months [delete]
I deleted like two chapters from this question because it repeated itself over and over and over again until I wanted to bash my head into a wall. Here's the summery: a nice guy is getting walked all over.
The big problem here is that you're only attracted to chicks who want to be treated that way (ie, told what to do, tossed around, cock-gagged, etc). What you need to do is either 1) get more confident and treat girls with less respect or 2) start going after the chicks who are looking for a nice guy
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Can u tell if your girlfriend been cheating on u by the way her vagina feels different
Nope. The only way you can tell is if she wants you to plow her but doesn't request any emotional support. Or another good way to tell is if you look at another chick, and she doesn't go crazy. If a girl is cheating on you, she won't get jealous.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Whats the safest way to lose weight? I need to take a few pounds off.
Google "Alli". Man that was a boring question. Next!
Dear Mr. Terrifying
If I were to stand naked, over a mirror and masturbate to my own ass. Would that make me Gay or A-sexual?
That depends. Do you have an exhibition/voyeur fetish? If yes, then you're straight. If no, then you better start a subscription to Blade or Bitch magazine, which ever applies to your gender.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I was looking for an actual email address on this site and this is as good as it gets. Sounds to me like your friend 'Rachael' has BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder. She sees everything as attacking her, thinks of herself as equally the most beautiful and ugly woman in the world. She thinks you view her as flawed because she sees herself as flawed, but thinks she's putting up a good front. This girl needs help - QUICK.
Oh God, you are right dead on the money. The site that this person is refering to is Things Rachael and I Argue About. To everyone who has a psycho ex, or psycho roommate, or psycho anything...you're not alone. Thanks for the message, buddy.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I just wanted to say that I think I love you. & no, my name is not Rachael!
That's just about the most perfect pickup line I've ever heard ;)
Dear Mr. Terrifying
A guy I once fancied claimed to have a n ex girlfriend much like this rather inhumanely-obsessed-with-you girl named Rachael. After I told him I liked him he made me wait for fear of putting me in danger, as well as himself. Now several months later, I walked away from that not caring. But that's besides the point. I think you need to realize this girl needs to die a death of a texas heart shot. please and thank you. she puts a bad name on us females. I looked up 'female stereotypes' and found her picture. kthnxbaibbq.
Thanks! Also, the person who asked a question right after you has something to say:
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I want to fuck the shit out of the girl who posted before me. think i should?
I've posted your question, so now it's up to fate to see if she answers and lets you fuck the shit out of her
UPDATE: Please check the next question for an update
Dear Mr. Terrifying
To the guy who mentioned fucking me. I'd have to see some cash. And he'd need to get to Canada. Then he'd need to fight off my boyfriend. Then he'd have to get me some art from ebay, and put up with the fact that I like to dress up like a gypsy, or a pirate. AND THEN. He'd have to bribe me with a shitton of candy. Then buy me some video games. and pamper me some more. Then ask for your permission. and then give me a pet Panda. Think he can do it?
I've posted your question, so now it's up to fate to see if dude answers you and gives you enough cash to let him bang you out
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I've been rather upset recently as me and my boyfried finished a few weeks ago because "he doesn't feel the same way anymore." Today I found your Racael article, and I realised why we split up. I AM SO, SO SORRY.
Don't be sorry! There is one supreme difference between you and Rachael: you are able to recognize potential fault. Now I'm not saying you're wrong or this was your fault. I'm just saying you have the capacity to see things in more ways than just your way, which means you'll never be in the same class as Rachael. In fact, I bet this whole thing was your ex's fault, that jerk. But regardless, because you are able to have an open mind, I garuntee you'll find someone who you will "feel the same way" you do forever.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I read your racheal blog, IM YOUR UK BROTHER, at least we know theres crazy on both sides of the atlantic
Rachael: Establishing diplomacy in the shittiest way possible
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Who is the girl in that picture on the right? I think it may be me.
Dear lord...if that's you, please email me immediately at officeofstrategicinfluence.com@gmail.com with lots of pictures. (And make the subject "For Wally Terrifying", otherwise Jason will get it and keep it for himself)
Dear Mr. Terrifying
who put the damn skirt on the girl at the right?
Ask the chick in the previous question. Her fault!
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Why?
Fuck you, that's why
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I took my 2 sons to a park district class and while cleaning up,
I handed some crayons to one of the mothers to put away and she made
some totally long hand contact with me. I'm not talking about she wanted
to make sure she had a hold of all the crayons, her
fingers held mine for 3-4 seconds! I'm happily married,
but this really got me excited. I've never dreamed of cheating
on my wife, but this was such a huge boost of self-confidence!
Should I go for it, or just enjoy the fact that another woman perhaps found me a little attractive?
Yo check it out. The fact of the matter is, that chick showed you that you still got it! And of course that was a huge boost of confidence. I say you enjoy the fact that other women find you attractive. What you don't want to do is to try to go after that chick and then she blows you off, ruining every bit of confidence that was gained. This is one of those "quit while you're ahead" situations. Grats!
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I've never smoked marijuana before in my life, so does this mean I'm more likely to get cancer than my friends who smoke marijuana on a regular basis?
No, but you do have a lower chance of getting laid
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I'm a 18 year old girl and my best friend and I like the same guy. I don't want to ruin a great friendship over a guy, but I can't stop thinking about the guy. What should I do?
She who presents first, wins. (Your motivation: cat in heat)
Dear Mr. Terrifying
There's this play I'm seeing and my crush is in it. he knows I like him (since I told him like twice) but now we're like friends I guess, so which is the best way of saying "I still like u" without freaking him out for a backstage gram for a school play? a rose or a $25 See's candy gift card?
Don't do any like that. What you want to do is send him a note that says "Your performance made me SO hot." Cuz guys don't care about roses or chocolates until they're 30. Until then, they want to know how much girls want them. Simple fact.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
how do I become a member of the office of strategic influence street team, seriously, I just read every word, on every page of the site, and even though I fell off my chair a few times, I would like to be a part of this. At the very least, how can I get my hands on some of your super-duper rad Bush Destroyed America bumper stickers for the back of my helmet, my gas guzzling lexus, my race car, my friends race car, my friends helmet, and my other friends vespa, 6 stickers in all, actually, make that 8, because I have some space on my guitar case, and a friends amp that needs something cool affixed to it. Oh, and my ex may be a clone of that evil assfaced succubus by the name of Rachael. Seriously.
Email dude in charge: walter@officeofstrategicinfluence.com
Now, anyone have any questions for me?
Dear Mr. Terrifying
How do I thank you for all this awesome advice?
Since I have no idea why you'd call my advice awesome, I think you're being sarcastic.
But you're NOT being sarcastic, then check out these links!
Dear Mr. Terrifying
What turns on a boyfriend?
I've been with the same guy for almost 5 years. We're great together and we almost broke up once, for strees from school. I always want to try new things in the bedroom. He's the type of guy who doesn;t like it too rough. he likes it long, slow, and pennetrating, but he also fancies foreplay too, he's quiet artsy type who likes to take life at a slow and steady pace.
It comes down to doing things that'd he'd never imagine. I don't just mean "change it up a little", I mean throw out the old play book, and scour a fringe magazine's sex advice column for stuff that most sane people wouldn't think of.
"Savage Love" by the City Paper in Washington DC is a good example.
Guest writer Saiyan says: eat your own poo in front of him.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
If you give a blow job, are you still a virgin?
Yup! And as an added bonus, you can do anal too. Look here for more info
Dear Mr. Terrifying
What is a GREAT and cute idea to ask a guy to sadies dance that noone else will have????
"God I'm horny, want to bang after the dance?" I mean there are other things you can say, but that's a 100% garuntee, and I am sure nobody's tried that yet
Dear Mr. Terrifying
What is it like for a girl to have sex with another girl?
I've always been straight my whole life and I've always liked guys. Sometimes though I fantasize about being with another woman, just fantasizing and that's it! Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to be with another woman. I love men and men only. I'm strickly dickly! But I do find women to be beautiful and I admire their figures and shapes. They're just so beauitful to me and sometimes I wonder what it'd feel like to be sexual with them in the bedroom. Is it normal for a straight woman to have these thoughts?
My mom just gave me a check for $80, can I sign it over to you?
Dear Mr. Terrifying
How loud can you fart without another person noticing and how loud is TOO loud in front of your boyfriend?
=O
Dear Mr. Terrifying
If your being naked is not a pretty site for your self to see.....what does a guy think???
I promise you that no matter what you look like, a guy will think you're hot when you're naked. I promise you that. This is because whatever you're wearing is what he imagins you as naked. Does that make sense? Like, if you wear a pushup bra, then when you're naked, he sees those boobs as pushed up. You're hot naked, don't ever worry about that.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I going to see the Pope tomorrow and need to know if i should flash him,
what do you think i should do...PS this is a chick
Is this part of that rare Pope-visits-America tour? Lucky you! In regards to your question, he hasn't touched a female ass in 81 years. Math tells me that a man pent up that long may just want to see them tats
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I am from Colombia and people always assume that I sell cocaine and/or know where to get some. This is understandable considering that all people hear from the media about my country is about cocaine and drug trafficking. What is a good white substance that I could give people to give them like a sugar high but without actually hurting them as revenge for their unfounded belief that I have la coca. Are pixie sticks mixed with flour a good solution? Or should I go another route and start a grass roots campaign to improve Colombias image? If so then how do you recommend I spread my message?
I love messing with the fucktards of society, like the people who think you are a drug dealer. For instance, I'm part dutch, so everyone assumes that I like windmills and wear clogs. So sometimes I wear clogs and then people say "Are you wearing wooden clogs because you're dutch?" and I say "No, it's to make it harder to pull my shoe out of your ass."
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Should I propose to my girlfriend?
I'm being pressured from all sides to propose to my girlfriend of three years. She feels that we've been dating long enough and nothing should be holding me back. But I'm comfortable where we are and I don't want to be coerced into doing something that wasn't of my choosing.
Even still, I love her very much and can see us marrying one day. Just not immediately. She says I should make up my mind fairly soon or we should break up. But a proposal is the same thing as "I do" to me, and I don't want to do it just to pacify her.
What should I do?
You totally should, and this is how you should do it. At a pre-arranged time, I come running onto the scene shooting guns everywhere. You guys panic, and you protect her by diving on top of her or something. I'll take a couple shots at the bench, or whatever you're hiding behind so it makes that awesome wizzing and ricochet noise. Then you go "Baby, if we make it out of here alive, I want you to marry me". Then I'll shoot into the air a couple more times while you say stuff like "As long as you're with me, I'll never let you get hurt." Then I'll run off, or let you beat me up (that costs extra). For added effect, we'll rig you up with some ketchup so you look like you took a bullet for her. As an added bonus, if she was "saving herself for the wedding day", then I promise you after that, she won't wait more than five minutes
Dear Mr. Terrifying
If i taped a piece of butered toast to the top of a cat, butter facing up, and droped them, would they hover above the ground?
No actually. However, if you put the butter facing towards the cat, it would most definitely hover. As you know, cats always land on their feet. And buttered bread always lands butter-side down. These are natural rules of physics.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I am getting hair on my shoulders and I'm just 23 years old. I already look like a hairy ape everywhere else, can't the hair leave my nicely-toned shoulders alone?! What should I do? Shaving would be a full-body and every-day activity. Out of the question.
Laser hair removal. No, it's not just for vaginas any more. Lots of atheletes do it for an areodynamic advantage (swimmers, sprinters, bicylists). I will now use this opportunity to tell everyone that if I ever meet a girl that has laser hair removal, I'm proposing to her immediatlly. Hear that ladies? Proposing!
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Do you love mudkips?
I hate that fucker
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Just Thought I'd Ask "Which Spice Girls Doll Is Most Sought After?" Because I Have Purchased The First Two Editions Of Them - Set Of 5 "Girl Power" and Set Of 5 "On Tour" I Have Had A Look Around The Web And After Comparing All The Versions Of Spice Dolls I Have Came To The Conclusion That The Girl Power Versions Were More Realistic As In They Looked Most Like Themselves, What Do You Think?
The posh one. At least that's the one all my friends ask to borrow. But watch out, most people won't inflate it back up when they're done. grrrr
Dear Mr. Terrifying
What is the Worst thing about falling off a horse?
What do you consider to be the worst thing about falling off a horse?
Alot of people say the injuries but I find the worst thing for me is the way it knocks back your confidence. I find im alot less willing to do certain things and take risks for weeks after a fall. Obviously the most important thing is that you and your horse are ok, but what do you find to be the worst part of falling off? Injuries? embarrassment?
The worst thing about falling off a horse is knocking my head on a rock and waking up who-knows-how-long later with my pants a few feet away, and my horse nowhere to be seen
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I am now in a deep affair with the married woman I met at the Oreck Vacuum cleaner store. Should I cut & run?
We are both married, very much into each other and actually can't get enough of each other.
What I am asking is should I stop this right now and keep this a life secret? Go on like nothing ever happened? What I am thinking is that the damage is already done so why stop now. What do you think?
This is my first affair and not sure how to handle this situation. She is not that unhappy in her marriage but has fallen in love with me.
What now? HELP!!!!!!!!!
Pics or it didn't happen
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Is God a pervert?
He watches us have sex, go to the bathroom, maasturbate, bathe. I mean you have to think that a man that likes to watch us all the time has got to be some kind of pervert. The ultimate peeping tom if you will.
I watch you maasturbate too
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I was hanging out with one of my guy friends and he kissed me we ended up making out and decided to see where it goes and not be boyfriend adn girlfriend. Two days after he kissed me I invited him over to my house when my parents were gone. We started making out and taking articles of clothing off. He kept asking me to blow him and in the end I did. We are both only 14 and I feel like a slut what should I do I really like making him moan and groan but I don't like going that far.
You're 14? By the time you read this answer, you've already changed your mind on how far you don't want to go. On another note, what's up with young people asking for advice? If you're under 18, you probably shouldn't be here. Actually, I'm going to make a discalmer about that: If you're under 18, don't be here! Consider yourself warned.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I have a very personal question and please don't answer if you're going to judge and scold?
Last night I was on the phone with my boyfriend and we were both *ahem* exited...well it eventually led to phone sex and I think my mom heard me because she's giving me that whole attitude moms have when you do something you're not supposed to...yet I know she wouldn't say anything about it. I'm worried now that she won't let me go over his house or won't let him come here or something but the thing is I wouldn't actually go any farther than what I did at this point in time. What should I do? I really wish I knew for sure if she heard me or not.
Bang and get it over with. It's your only hope
Dear Mr. Terrifying
My girlfriend broke up with me after 2 years.. Will ignoring her make her want me back more???
Ok i know every break up is different but my girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years an she broke up with me a month ago. She wants to be friends but thats just to hard for me to handle. She says that she needs to be single and "play the field" shes says.. What can i do to get her intrest back an want to try again... Will ignoring her a little help or what??? Please i need advice, I want to get her back...
Don't ignore, but be nonchalant. Ignoring will make it worse. Acting like you don't care will make it better. Also, talk to other girls without actually doing anything with them. And DON'T make it obvious you are doing it; don't tell your ex "hey look at all these girls I'm talking to you." You want to appear over her, and not angry at her, and appear relieved that you can finally get with other people. That will bring her back much quicker than ignoring will
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Out of curiosity I have a couple of questions 1. Where origins does your last name have? It sounds Germanic to me so I'm curious 2. This is the office of strategic influence so what's your strategy and how much influence do you really have? 3. Do you actually make money from answering these questions? Because that would be the sweetest job EVER.
Close! It's Dutch, originally Terwilliger.... "Der willige-waar," serviceable ware, or ware that sells well.
My great granddad said on Ellis island they couldn't understand him because his english was so fucked up, so they thought he said "Terwifier" so they
changed it to Terrifying.
Next, this is the office of strategic influence, but I don't have any strategy or influence. This is owned by other people and they let me write for them
in exchange for me not sueing them for past stuff. But now we're best friends so I wouldn't sue them even if they gave me the bird. But don't tell them that
because the actual office is pretty sweet
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Okay, try not to patronize me for it, but I’m only 14. A month after turning 13 last year, I fucked my girlfriend (we had been doing a shitload of things for quite a while. we were a horny little pair). Then, about two weeks later, I fucked her again before leaving for SIG (Summer Institute for the Gifted). When I was there, going from sex to nothing pretty much sucked ass, so I cheated on her and ended up hooking up with my ex who also went. We stayed together for a little bit but broke off pretty quickly. Well my old girlfriend found out and got pissed, so no more sex for me. And now I'm wondering if any of that was worth it. Got any ideas?
Arg I hate not patronizing! Okay so you're too young to ask whether it was worth it or not. It sounds like you got with the second girl just because you missed sex (which is odd because you're only 14), which sounds like you don't have any feelings for her, which would mean no, it wasn't worth it. But that only applies to people like ten years older than you...for you, love means a girl that lets you do it doggie style.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I am 3 for 3 on my obviously sarcastic questions that you have answered. Either We share the same sense of humor or we both have bad taste... either way, can i be a guest writer?
Do you really hate society enough to be a guest writer here?
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I'm getting depressed about this...it's been running my life for a while now.
IDK whether I'm bi or straight. I wouldn't even do anything sexual with a girl, I don't find it appealing or tempting. I like guys alot and would comment on them being hot to my friends, but for girls I just look at their bodies. Lately I've been wondering if I'm bi, and since then I've been majorly overthinking it and making myself stress out a lot!
Blah blah blah, you don't sound one bit bi. If you see a gaping vadge and your first thought is to dive in, you might be bi. I know, you're asking yourself how Wally Terrifying can be so brilliant. Well, the dead giveaway was when you said "I wouldn't even do anything sexual with a girl, I don't find it appealing." On the other hand, you could make a killing in the video industry with "reluctant lesbo movies"
Dear Mr. Terrifying
im 15 and a lesbian. my girlfriend of on and off for 3 years proposed to me october 12 lastely shes been acting distant. like the sex life was still there, but this last 2 weeks or so, shes been really distant. she still tells me that she loves me, but something is missing. i really dont want to lose the love of my life. she menas everythign to me, and then some. and im so scaresd that im going to lose her. and whenever i bring this up to her, she basically tells me she loves me and then we have sex. what should i do?
I'll see you in three years
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I Have Reason To Believe My Grilfriend Has Been Abducted And Replaced With A Nymphomaniac Fem-Bot From The Planet Nibiru In A Covert Attempt To Enslave My Penis. How Do I Resist This Evil Scheme? Cold Water And/Or Thinking Of Mother Theresa Are No Longer Effective!
The real question you should be asking is where is Nibiru, and how the hell do I get there?
Dear Mr. Terrifying
What is your favorite thing to do in Kansas City that you cant do anywhere else?
Wish I were out of Kansas City
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I have a bf who is cheeting on me and all of my friends what should I do?
If you want to win girlfriend of the year award, ask to join in. Then everyone will be jealous of him, and the world will crown you "Ms Best In The Universe", and you two will get married and do the funky chicken at your 75th wedding anniversary.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
How do get this girl to stop liking me. (6th grade)?
Tell her she has cooties, and never ever write me ever again.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Did William Golding (Lord of the Flies) alter facts in his books when giving lectures? I had an English teacher about 7 years ago, who, while we were reading Lord of the Flies told our class how in his later years William Golding would intentionally alter the events of his books when speaking about them, like changing key plot points, and referring to characters that never existed for fun. I was curious if there were any documented cases of this, or if it was just some hot air from my teacher.
I did the same thing on english tests! I didn't get the same applause from that though
Dear Mr. Terrifying
yuor an asshole. please help
There are many people who are in the same situation. Don't fret! Just remember to be yourself and you'll be fine.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
how do i become a lesbian?
Date me for a few years. That's the only sure fire method I've ever come across.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Can you summerize Harry potter for me? I have the th book but im too tired to read it.
can someone telll me the whole story?
Voldemort is a republican and dumbledore is gay. The end!
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Will you marry me? I'm not in love with you or anything. I just want your last name. It is full of awesomeness!
Hey my middle name is Awesome. You should take that name too.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I have been told I am very pretty and have a lot of charm. I've never had any problem getting decent guys but for some reason if ever a friend gets a boyfriend or gets married I have a terrible urge to steal their man.I loove the thrill of forbiden fruits and I don't like to see others happy and love the fact I have stolen him off her. But I have lost so many friends as a result of my selfishness. I need help. Why do I do this? It's not for self esteem purposes I know I'm attractive and I'm a newly qualified teacher so have a brain.
You were cheated on several years ago, and you've internalized it, making it a turn on. subconciouslly you're besting the women they are with, and feeling as if you are outdoing the person who did this to you years ago
Dear Mr. Terrifying
How do ENTP's flirt?
If you are an ENTP, go to a party and yell as loud as you can. If you want to date an ENTP, go to a party, and look for the person yelling as loud as they can. Also, ENTP = liberal, ENTJ = conservative
Dear Mr. Terrifying
How could my ex-bf not understand where I'm coming from?
So my ex-bf tried to get me in bed. Granted, I wanted it physically, but I knew I couldn't handle it emotionally. I told him I couldn't help but feel like a piece of ass and he got mad at me and said he couldn't see how I could feel that way. I told him it sucked that I'm apparently good enough to have sex with, but not good enough to be back together with.
He stated that he thinks of me as a good friend that he likes to get physical with. That, to me, is a booty call and I told him that. He started to act all offended that I was thinking that way.
What gives? If all he wants is easy ass, then go get it somewhere else. If all he thinks of me as a friend, why in the world doesn't he treat me as JUST a friend?
Without sex, a friend is just a friend. If there wasn't any physical stuff, what would differentiate you from his football buddies? That's probably why it didn't work out.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
When a guy says "call me" does he really want me to call him or is just being polite?
I have a guy friend who says call me but I don't want to bother him by calling him. How many days should I wait before calling him. Is a week long enough? also, do guys say call me and don't mean it?
No guy will ever say "call me" if he doesn't want to talk to you. He wouldn't risk you calling if he didn't want to talk to you.
(Karl, guest writer, says: He wants you to be the one who calls because he can screen your calls with caller-id)
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Ok im going to a jam party in like an hour... and i dotn know how to grind! I`ve seen girls you know when they all like go in a line & grind?
To grind, you stick your butt up against his pelvis. That's all you have to do. The dude will do all the work. For added effect just wiggle to the beat. I promise you, the dude will do all the work. If not, all griding really is, is dryhumping while standing up. That's all
Dear Mr. Terrifying
How can i tell my boyfriend he's not sweet?
If it's just everyday average things like he never buys you flowers, then stop putting out, and when you see a street vendor selling flowers say "Oh wow, yellow flowers make me sooooo wet." Trust me, your house will be full of yellow flowers in a matter of minutes
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I'm really lonely and I feel like nothing in my life is going very well. I'm always tired and right now I have a headache. How do I make it all end?
Hey don't be down. The more depressed you get the better you'd do in a Thailand sex-slave ring. Am i rite??? High five!
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Recently I just had sex with my exboyfriend. Not just any ex boyfriend but my first boyfriend ever and the guy I lost my virginity to. In short I was young when we met and he broke my heart. We've become friends again and go out to dinner every once in a while. We get along well and the sex was fantastic. He has told me adamantly he doesn't want to get involved with anyone which is great because I know him and I enjoy being single. I have some strong emotions concerning this guy though considering our history. I really just don't want to get hurt again. Is it possible to really have a sexual friendship work out? or should I just stay away from the ex sex?
Okay first off, when he says "I don't want to get involved with anyone", that's boy talk for "I love you, but I swear if you put a title on us, that'll fuck everything up." I'm serious...you can guarantee that he'll be interested in you forever, but the second you ask if you're his girlfriend, he'll stop seeing you.
I promise.
Now, the cause of him liking you again is "new pussy syndrome." Basically, you guys have been apart long enough for him to 1) feel like you're new pussy 2) for him to realize all the reasons he likes you. Every human male does this without question.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
OMG I just read the "Rachel" page. You put up with all of that for *rent*?!? WTF?? I mean, I don't care if she looked like a goddess, gave stupendous head and begged for it up the ass every other day, I don't know of any sane man who would have lived in the same house with that harridan, let alone voluntarily hung out with her. You really must've liked the infrequent "sweet little girl" episodes that you didn't write about - I bet she had them. I've known several BPD women and they're all 3 years old inside. Thank goodness that episode of your life is over. Listen, if you don't have any contact with her, I wouldn't be too concerned with her doing something to harm you. People like her are all about themselves, all the time. If she has no reason to think about you, she'll be off to torment her next victim and you'll be out of the hot seat. Just, for the love of all that's holy, *DON'T* let her weasel her way back into your life. Put your foot down. By the way, I think that most of your advice is awesome. Good luck!
You are officially my best friend mr. anonymous
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Generally speaking, if I put out on the first date, does that mean I will never get married? or am I a slut?
Most long lasting marraiges happen when people are that passionate. I have had three relationships that have lasted longer than a year, and each of them, we went all the way on the first night.
Since you put out on the first date, that probably means you enjoy it. Because you enjoy it, consider it "having fun" until your right match comes around. How much would it suck if you liked putting out, and didn't, and you found someone, but ended up not being compatable because the relationship started out in a way that wasn't really you?
Dear Mr. Terrifying
my husband is deployed to iraq and our 5th anniversary is coming up. i've been racking my brain on what i could get him though. i want it to be something sexual and since all i have are female friends i would like some male input. if you were in a war zone, what would you want your wife to send you? (he already has naked pics, a masturbation sleeve, dvd's, and plenty of lubrication....)
Okay, you and your husband have done everything and you're worried about it being old news. No problem! Take pictures of you doing things you've never done in bed. And remember, it doesn't have to be stuff that turns you on. It can be stuff that is absolutely boring to you. But it'll be new for him, and that's what you're going for.
Ignore what guys say they want, and ignore what girls say that guys want. What you want to do is go above your comfort zone, and do shit that he'd never think of. Pose with another girl... pose in public... put things in your ass.... my point is, you may have already done all these things, but whatever you decide to take pictures of, make it something he's never seen before. Do something he'd never imagine you doing. You know all those times he said "Hey how about if we..." and you thought he was joking and decided not to do it? Do that! Do all the things that you hate because it makes you feel insecure, and he'll love it to death.
Also, guys love Maxim magazine. Don't send flowers or anything girly or his friends will shoot him
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I'm 6 inches. is that a bad thing?
Girls won't let you do them in the butt if you're any bigger than that. You win!
Dear Mr. Terrifying
If you could win the lottery what would you do?
Count the days till someone kills me or a loved one. 10 out of 10 people who win the lotto end up with a murdered loved one
Dear Mr. Terrifying
yoo sOn.! iim reppiin newyork east siide..yuu alreadyy snow! newayysz ..myy mom stayy on my case lyk she doesn't givv me my freedom
What the shit?
Dear Mr. Terrifying
When aroused, is it normal that vagina smells different (Am a virgin)?
Yes it is.
The vagina is where most of the pheramones get released. That scent actually increases the chance a "mate" will approach you.
Science magazine recently published an article that said strippers get tipped nearly double when they are ovulating. This is because of subtle enticing hints the body gives off, such as the changed scent
Dear Mr. Terrifying
You said Science magazine published that thing about strippers ovulating. are you serious? Do you think they got grant money for that?
Yes. In early 2008. If I can find the article again, I will link it. I didn't actually think about the grant money part... I bet the research team enjoyed their work
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I have a feeling that I am really not meant to be with anyone. I have always been a highly indepedent and solitary person in many aspects. I have only had a couple of relationships and they generally didn't last long at all and the one's that lasted more than a couple of months made me look back and realize that it wasn't a good situation anyways. So I've been completely single for over 2 years now and I hardly don't even date. I am a very sexual person and really crave kissing, touching, and caressing (sex is another story altogether). So what I usually do is make out with someone once and never see them again. One of my friends told me that his psychologist considers one night stands to be healthy, but I hate the feeling you get the morning after a one night stand personally. I don't know I guess my quesiton is... should I give up hope in finding someone that I am actually compatible with or continue kissing random people and being a player in the field of love?
Introduce me to your your friend's psychologist. I'd like to further her research that one-night stands are healthy. Also, I have some theories of my own that I would like to share with her, like how male-generated protein is good for her facial skin
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Why do I get bored with girls so quickly?
I love meeting girls and getting to know them, but I find I get bored of them rather quickly and then go out and meet new ones. Why?
Natural human instinct to preserve genetic diversity. You know how unnatural it is for a male to be with a female for an extended period of time? If two people staying together were natural, the species would have gone extinct thousands of years ago
Dear Mr. Terrifying
How does it feel after having the 1st sex with a girl? well, i'm 21 whereas my wife is 19. we're still virgins. we're about to have sex and we're on honeymoon tomorrow.
1) can anyone tell me how does it feel like after having sex? (do you think that sexual behavior is a pleasure?)
2) when placing your penis into her vagina, how did you 2 feel? smooth or painful?
3) some blood will be coming out from her vagina? where is the best place to do that in order to prevent her blood from dripping into the bedding inside the hotel room?
4) should i apply more lubricant if her vagina is too narrow?
5) which condom is trustworthy? Durex or Sagami Original 0.02?
I am letting my coworker use my account to answer this question. He was a marraige counselor for a few years before going into PR work.
1) It will be awkward. You don't know if you have sexual compatibility yet. You will find out after you're married...which I wouldn't recommend. It will probably be very quiet and uncomfortable
2) When putting the penis in, it really depends on several things. First, are you excited and hot n bothered and ready to dive in? If so, it'll feel pretty awesome. If you're scared/worried, then it'll probably just feel like you are moving your hips back and forth. That's the good news...the bad news is, if she isn't hot and bothered, then her body may not self-lube. If this is the case, make sure you have a small thing of KY Jelly handy, or maybe some hand lotion.
3) If she's used tampons, or masturbated, there's a good chance blood won't come out. Still though, if she hasn't been "stretched" beforehand, it may hurt her so go slowly and tenderly. Think candles
4) Lube is always a good idea unless of course she's naturally a river. In the later case, no need.
5) Trojan's are prefered amungst my old clients.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
How can u say you are beautiful when you are not? or am I WRONG?
Here's the problem. Perception of beauty is completely skewed. You may not feel beautiful because you don't match up to whatever standards you've set for yourself. But there are traits that go a LOT further than physical beauty. Personallity, intelligence, charisma, work eithic..they all get you much further than a billboard trying to sell you clothes. Also, I havn't seen any pictures of you. Honestly, you could very easily be everyone's heart throb, but because you are comparing yourself to a photoshopped image, you don't think you're beautiful. We can fix this by you sending me naked pictures, and I'll in turn tell you that you're hot.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Is this morally wrong?
My parents have been keeping my student tax credits as I am a full time student living at home. They have been claiming me as a depedent. I still work - a LOT to pay for my school. My parents have always said as long as I'm in college I won't have to pay for rent. So I don't pay rent, but I recently found out each year my parents have been keeping my student tax credit money and claiming me as a dependant ... most parents only do this if they pay for their children's tuition but I've never seen any money from my parents. What's worse is they've been doing this behind my back for the past 3 years because I was unaware you got extra money. Is this illegal for her to be doing this without my consent? I am very upset. She says as long as I am living under their roof I will have to continue to give them my tax money for being a student. Is this right? What should I do? Thanks
Legally you are a dependent. I understand that you're upset, but also realize that this isn't so much "behind your back" as it was something then didn't tell you. Think of it this way...your father doesn't tell you if he washes his face, or his ass first, and that's not considered doing something behind your back
How do you get rid of waters in your ears after swiming?
With a bullet
Dear Mr. Terrifying
do you like me ? i want you :) thanks xx
[ ] Yes [X] No
Dear Mr. Terrifying
what do you think I should ask you?
"How did you get to be so awesome?" is one popular question. "What's wrong with that Rachael chick" is another popular question. Take your pick, the sky's the limit
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Why do men always make such an annoying big deal about changing that temp in the house? It's freezing in here
Oh God, there are three things you NEVER EVER do. 1) tell a man he has a small dick 2) tell a man he can't drive 3) change the temperature in the house
I don't know what it is, but those are the top three things you NEVER do or say to a guy.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Who would win in a fight, Seven of Nine or Cameron?
Camron
She'd show up, and I'd fall head over heals, and she'd be like "Go run into those bullets" and I'd be like "Yes ma'am".
My point is, Camron would have someone else on her side
haha
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Can Jedi use their feet to implement the force, or just their hands?
There's probably something in the Jedi code prohibiting 'party tricks' like that. "Look, Master Yoda, I can levitate an X-Wing using my dick"
Dear Mr. Terrifying
How do i make him really happy in bed?
We have had sex three times and he is really creative and has done incredible things to me BUT.. i think that only the last time we did it, he really came because we had anal sex. I love him madly and i really want to make him happy in bed and enjoy it as much as i do it. I am not that experienced and i need to be naughty if necessary... whatever. I want to know how he thinks. probably i talk too much, i don't know. please i need honest advise.
I stopped reading after the first sentence. To make him happy in bed, twitch like you just got run over by a car whenever he touches a sensitive spot. Also, whenever you're in public with his friends (not your friends), answer ever question with "Sorry what was the question? I was too busy thinking about [boyfriends name] raming me." No, you won't look like a slut, he'll look like a king, and feel like a king, and he'll love sex with you, no matter how horrible you are in bed.
Do leftists still believe in the educational self-esteem movement, even though it has been thoroughly discredited? Self esteem is an iffy concept at best. Many, many millionaires are very humble people while many serial killers and other sociopaths have a very high opinion of themselves. Ted Bundy thought he was all that and a bag of chips.
Hey there was a huge movement in the 1930's with people who agree with you.
The national socialists believed if you break someone of their self esteem, they will follow the state whole heartedly. In addition to replacing books with, military drills, the national socialists (nazis) also killed the head of each family, so a person would have no choice but to rely on the state.
Self esteem is government control's advisary.
But for me, I will continue to give my boy all the support and confidence he can to have a high self esteem. You're welcome to break your kid I suppose, although that sort of shows your quality of parenting.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
My ass is red and has a bumpy feel to it, what is that? my boyfriends mom said she likes the feel yo! let me know!
Hey, I aint trying to diss her neither I'm only saying that I wish you would trim her beaver some. every hair is like a foot long bitch looks like a werewolf wearing a thong sometimes.
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Have you ever considered a name change? Wally Terrifying just sounds so counter-intuitive. If i were you i'd change my name to something like Maximus. -or Captain. Captain terrifying has a nice ring to it. plus, you could feel perfectly justified in wearing a cape.
Hey this is seriously a first...nobody has EVER recommended changing my first name. They're always like, "Your last name, how aweful." But with this, how cool would it be to wear a cape, and when people question it, I point to the name tag? You sir, (or ma'am), win, for a good suggestion
What would happen if men were women and the women were men?
If men were women and women were men, I'd lock myself in my bed room with naked pictures of my former self
How long is sex supposed to usually last? I had wanted to seriously ask a question referring to the amount of time put into sex. I wanted to know what is the usual amount of time that most people have sex? Does sex last for a lot of people or is it a pretty quick experience? The minimum I've ever went in sex was 20 minutes and the most I've I've had it was three hours. That three hours was crazy though, I thought I was dehydrating afterwards, lol. Am I normal on the time scale for lasting sex or maybe even lacking? What is like a normal amount of time that sex lasts?
The average, and this is a fact, is 2.5 minutes. I imagin that is because married couples, or people in long term relationships know exactly what the other person wants, and goes straight for it. 20 minutes is usual and healthy for people exploring or getting to know their partner. Sounds fun! Three hours? I havn't done that in a while. I used to go through those marathons a lot when I was a teen. Not anymore though. Now I'm like, "Oh look a vag"
Dear Mr. Terrifying
I had a vision of a large black round shape above my bed.
It was almost in the shape of a cloud but it was not fuzzy. It was just like black air, or a void.
What does this mean?
Cataracts
Dear Mr. Terrifying
Why/how are you so funny?
I simply think of the worst possible advice I can give, then justify it until I've convinced myself that it's the best possible answer