Bigfoot hoax turns criminal

Somewhere, the real Bigfoot isn’t laughing.

Bigfoot turned out to be a hoax again, but the two perpetrators may be facing a criminal investigation. What for? The unexplained appearance of human DNA in an entrail-stuffed sasquatch suit.

Last week, now ex-cop Matt Whitton and co-hoaxer Rick Dyer held a press conference for the announcement of their Bigfoot find. Several large media outlets aired the conference live.

DNA testing had been conducted, so one reporter aptly asked for the results of the testing. The answer pushed viewers closer to the edge of their seats. Anyone watching the coverage saw Whitton explain that the three DNA tests came back as 1) inconclusive 2) human and 3) possum. They proceeded to state that they believed the possum DNA may have implied what it had eaten recently. More tests were to follow, which ultimately exposed this as a hoax. When the ice was melted, so did Bigfoot’s feet. It was a Halloween costume.

A week later, the two hoaxers came forward and admitted it was a joke. CNN reported, “Now the two Georgia men admit the hairy, icy blob was an Internet-purchased Sasquatch costume stuffed with possum roadkill and slaughterhouse leftovers…It was, as many had suspected, an ape-like costume stuffed with entrails.”

Now here’s the big, huge, gaping problem. There was human DNA recovered from the entail-stuffed costume that came from a slaughter house.

In light of this revelation, the two hoaxers have hired attorney Steve Lister to represent them.

“There have been some threats made to them for both civil and criminal prosecution,” said Lister.

When confronted over the nature of the hoax, Dyer implied that everyone should have known it was a joke. But the two men may now be facing a lot bigger problems than an unamused crowd.